Form
00-002
Divisions
5
Status
Current
Page
FORM 00-001 · REV. 12

Divisions

Index

The institution is organised into five divisions. Each issues its own goods, keeps its own records and numbers its own forms.

Division 01

Reclaimed Goods

Things we claim are made from what America mailed us. One of these claims is even true, and it is the cardboard one.

Currently issued
The Tube Tee100% cotton, mid-weight
The Second Draft Mug11 oz
Certificate of Deposit8 x 10 in
Certificate of Deposit (Instant)PDF, US Letter
Division 02

Actual Paper

The unfunny part of the company. Toilet paper you would buy again on purpose, which is a harder thing to make than a joke.

Currently issued
Nothing issuedHeld pending specification
Division 03

The Registry

Every tube America mails us gets a serial number, a date of receipt and a permanent public record. Some of them are for sale. All of them are real.

Currently issued
Nothing issuedHeld pending specification
Division 04

Corporate Records

Documents produced by a company that buys used toilet paper. Printed properly, bound properly, and straight-faced from cover to cover.

Currently issued
Restroom Compliance Placard10 x 8 in, unframed
Division 05

Household

The bathroom is our entire market. Eventually we would like to sell you everything in it, starting with the parts that are not funny.

Currently issued
The Hand Towel28 x 16 in